How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
