and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
