Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize