Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
