I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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