She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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