I CAN MOONWALK!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
