She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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