Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex on a roof
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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