No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize