I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize