I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
