I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize