I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
