I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
