I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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