are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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