You really coming over, don't trick.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
