I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
