I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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