I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
