I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
