hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
