you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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