Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
