D3 body, D1 cock
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
