I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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