I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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