could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
