I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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