i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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