I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
