Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
