He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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