I want to walk on stilts...naked
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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