Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
