she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
