I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
