I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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