I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
