Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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