So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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