i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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