Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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