yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
