My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
