I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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