I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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