Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
