Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
