the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have post one night stand depression
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