Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
