Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
