i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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