I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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