We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
