worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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