you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
