Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
