I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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