Nicole vs. Life
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
